Sometimes I veer off the topic of interior design and write about things dear to my heart. Today is one of those days. This past week has been an unusual week of loss. I lost an uncle who fought a courageous battle for five long months, a young family at our church lost both of their children in a car accident and one of my high school friends lost his grandchild on an innocent trip to the pool. When sad things like these situations happen, it causes us to take pause and reaccess life. Why do things like this happen? Three families devasted by death. I have had so many ask why God lets things like this happen.
The inception of this blog came from a need to focus my grief from losing a child on something positive. It was a way for me to distract myself from sadness and focus on something that brings me good thoughts and joy. I have always tried weave a piece of myself into the words of my blog for this reason. I feel I owe it to my readers as well as grieving friends and family that read the blog. You guys supported me from the very beginning. Today I want to share some thoughts on what to say and do when someone you love has lost someone they love.
I hope you find this advice good advice, but I can only speak to my situation and how I felt. Every situation is different, and no two people grieve the same. I know that people want to offer comfort but unless you have lost a loved one, you don’t know what to say, so I hope this helps.
Here are five often heard statements that should never be said to someone who has lost a loved one:
I don’t mean to sound critical of folks trying to offer condolences, but all too often I hear these words spoken at wakes, funerals and in places where people are grieving and I wince. I’m sure right now you are wondering what you should say and do during times of grieving if these words are right. After all these are the words we hear most during the time of death, right?
Here are my thoughts on what to say or do for anyone grieving you want to comfort.
–Fr. Bede Jarrett O.P.