Our desire to talk to our child, call their name and hug them is so great.
Just so you know, it is ok to talk about them to us. It keeps them alive
and removes “the elephant from the room”. We feel good when we think others are
remembering our child especially if you have a child who was a friend.
My son was on my to do list on the day he died. He was 22, but still on my list of responsibilities for the day. There were so many times after he died, that i caught myself thinking wow, I have to call Walker to tell him such and such and then being hit with the cold reality that I couldn’t call him. I kept his cell phone active for over a year after his accident because it was the last moving part related to him. I could call it and hear his voice. I admit I miss saying Walker’s name. I miss hearing his laugh, I miss so many things. His favorite holiday was Halloween. If he were alive he would be deciding which costume he planned to wear for the holiday. Today really isn’t about me and my grief though. I share my thoughts so you can see what the inside of grief looks like so you can help your friend or work through grief yourself.
Here are some thoughts I would like to share on Grief
The most important words you can say to a grieving parent is simply “I’m sorry”. Offering to pray for them or with them. Tell them how much you love them or their child. If you have a sweet story or fond memory of their loved one share it! Those stories are music to their ears. Sweet memories are what get grieving parents through hard days.
The time around a funeral is busy, don’t rush to do something for your friend or family member then, wait til after the service. The weeks later can be so lonely. Let your friend know you are there for them by writing a note, taking a meal, offering to run errands, take them to lunch or just sit with them and let them talk. Sometimes sitting with them and offering silent companionship is all they need.
Don’t tell a grieving parent that their child is in a better place, it is not what we want to hear. Don’t tell them you know how they feel if you really don’t. Don’t tell them not to be sad. It’s their right to be sad and cry, it is important for them to release their sadness.